Are you part of the Sandwich Generation? These are individuals simultaneously caring for and supporting their kids and parents. Competing priorities have often left this generation struggling with work, financial, health, family, and time pressures. There are no easy solutions when you’re in this situation but you can take some steps to try to relieve the strain.
Finances
Many in the Sandwich Generation have financial stress. Child-rearing and college are costly. So is caregiving. Family members provided $600 billion in uncompensated care in 2021 not including out-of-pocket costs, lost wages, or the cost of more complex medical/nursing care.
Ideally, families should discuss caregiving issues before they come up. Ask about your loved ones’ wishes and expectations regarding long-term care and the resources they have to pay for care. Consult professionals such as a daily money manager, financial planner, and estate planning attorney to help in creating a long-term care plan.
Caregivers should also develop their own financial plan with the assistance of financial and legal advisors. Create a budget and financial plan that accounts for all expenses, including money spent on parents and kids as well as saving for college, retirement, and other goals. Prepare the necessary legal documents to protect everyone in the family.
Finally, investigate government and community resources that can assist with costs, like transportation, food, property taxes, utility bills, home modifications, home care, and other expenses. Consult an attorney about Medicaid planning.
The more families prepare financially, the better.
Work-Life Balance
Many caregivers are juggling work and family responsibilities. That can leave them perpetually tired and stressed with both mental and physical health consequences. Relationships with family, friends, and co-workers may also suffer. Caregivers also risk being fired or having to quit or work part-time, which adds financial pressures into the mix.
To help address these issues, caregivers should educate themselves on their legal rights under the Family Medical Leave Act and state and local laws. Employers may also provide benefits such as an Employee Assistance Program, remote work, and flex-time.
In addition, caregivers should research governmental and nonprofit resources that provide respite care, transportation, senior centers, adult day care, and home health aides.
Family members should also pitch in. All the responsibilities shouldn’t be on one person. Even small efforts can make a big difference.
Self-Care
Part of work-life balance includes self-care. According to a 2020 AARP study, 21% of family caregivers reported their own health as “fair to poor.” Caregiving takes a toll on a person’s physical, mental, and emotional health. Most don’t realize that when they aren’t well, it affects their ability to care for their loved ones too.
Know the warning signs of caregiver stress, including anxiety, depression, lethargy, high blood pressure, and other symptoms. Ask family and friends for help. Take time to relax, meditate, exercise, and sleep. Eat well and keep up with medical appointments.
Also, deal with the emotional aspects of caregiving. Seeing a loved one deteriorate can bring on feelings of grief, anger, guilt, fear, and other emotions. Join a support group or speak with a counselor.
Conflict Resolution
When balancing caregiving with parental and work stress, conflicts can arise with parents, a spouse or partner, children, siblings, and other relatives.
Ideally, it’s best to minimize conflict by having open and honest discussions before problems arise. Then, regularly communicate to keep everyone up to date and address issues as soon as possible.
If disputes cannot be settled, then consider bringing in a neutral party.
A family counselor or therapist can help families discuss their feelings and develop strategies to deal with stress and conflicts.
A daily money manager and/or financial planner can provide information relevant to financial disputes or manage certain financial tasks to relieve that burden.
A lawyer can handle legal issues, including drafting a will, healthcare proxy, power of attorney, living will, and trust as well as advise regarding guardianships, Medicaid planning, and long-term care planning.
Conflicts over legal and financial issues can also be addressed with the help of an elder law mediator.
It’s not easy managing the competing priorities of children and parents. However, the good news is that there are more resources available to help than ever before.
Don’t go it alone. Seek out the help you need to the extent possible.
If you need assistance with managing day-to-day financial issues for yourself or your loved one, contact me for a free consultation.
