In my personal and professional life, I’ve witnessed many caregivers struggle with life after caregiving and have experienced it myself. After months or years spent devoted to a loved one, the individual passes away, leaving the caregiver with a new set of emotions and challenges. If you’re in this position, there are steps you can take to help you both grieve and rebuild your life.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Caregivers often experience a complicated mix of emotions when their loved one dies, including:

  • Grief. Even if you said a gradual goodbye as your loved one deteriorated, it’s normal to feel the loss again at death.
  • Relief. It’s understandable and nothing to be ashamed of to be relieved that your loved one is no longer suffering, and your responsibilities have ended. Caregiving can be a significant emotional, physical, and financial burden, even if it’s also rewarding.
  • Guilt. You may feel guilty over your sense of relief or because you think you didn’t do enough. It’s important to stop holding yourself to an unrealistic standard and focus on the positives of what you did.
  • Confusion and anxiety. When your day no longer revolves around helping your loved one, you may be unsure of what to do next. Uncertainty, loneliness, and anxiety may set in because you feel you have lost direction or purpose.

All of these emotions are common, and you should allow yourself to feel them. There is no right or wrong way to cope with the loss of your loved one and the role of caregiving in your life.

Create New Routines

With caregiving over, you have more time, which can be overwhelming instead of freeing. Start with small steps to fill the time and create a new schedule. Every day, try to do one thing – take a walk, talk with a family member, set mealtimes, or restart a hobby. Gradually, add more, allowing yourself to recuperate physically and emotionally from caregiving.

Ideally, you’ll begin to return to activities you did before caregiving as well as consider new ones. This can be an ideal time to reconsider your interests and goals. Spending time on work, family, hobbies, travel, new projects, and volunteering can provide structure and enjoyment and give you a new purpose.

Reconnect with Others

Many caregivers neglect their relationships with family and friends because of their responsibilities. Reach out to these individuals when you’re ready.

Also, thank those who did support you while you were caregiving.

Take Care of Your Health

Self-care is important. If you’ve neglected your health, make sure to focus on it now. Schedule check-ups, eat healthy, sleep, exercise, meditate, pray, socialize, and find activities you enjoy.

You should also seek support if needed. Grief counseling, support groups, therapists, friends, and family can all help you through this process.

Finally, don’t forget to address your financial health. If your finances deteriorated because of caregiving, you should consult financial professionals (financial planner, CPA, daily money manager, etc.) to help you get back on track.

Keep Your Memories Alive

Caregiving is a difficult but gratifying role. Remember your time with your loved one by writing down or recording your memories, creating photo books, saving mementos, donating or volunteering in your loved one’s name, or becoming an advocate or mentor to help caregivers or others with the same disease.

Learning to enjoy life after caregiving ends is a long process. Over time, the pain will ease, and you’ll start to heal. While you will always remember your loved one and your time spent caregiving, you’ll also be able to move forward with a new purpose.